Sometimes I walk into my kitchen and baking cookies seems trivial in the face of other life issues. World finance and famine aside, life is hard emotionally right now. Family members struggle with health issues, change and loss. My most stressful responsibility is managing my mother's care in a city a thousand miles away. I call her every day, pay her bills, and coordinate doctor visits, house repairs and medication orders with her care-givers. I feel tense a lot.
My blog began because I had trouble concentrating on writing about issues important to me. I had been writing regularly and bringing articles to a weekly writers' workshop for critique. After my mother's illnesses, my creative energies had stalled. My mind spun around friends and relatives far away. But I needed to keep busy and I wanted to keep writing, honing the craft.
A cookie blog seemed the perfect choice. Busy-making, focused on a positive change (to lose 10 pounds), it seemed a less demanding writing project. I could keep my mind off the rest of the world while I baked and blogged. But like the smell of forgotten cookies in the oven, the rest of the world seeps into my kitchen with me.
I think that's why I am grumpier than usual about cookies with inadequate instructions. I want to benefit by the experience of "experts" who compiled the book and tested each recipe. I don't know why I have to add more notes to theirs to get each recipe right. Similarly, it has taken trial and error to find the right care for my mother, understand the array of care systems, and the finances involved. Where are the well-tested "recipes" for choosing elder care? Where are the "notes" for how to finance it?
I find I prefer cookies with a firm texture rather than those with a fine crumbly dough. I have no patience with a cookie that falls apart as you bite in. The health of family and friends is fragile enough. I crave strength in my cookies and the symbols of strength in my life. Beyond firm cookies, I appreciate the love and support my husband gives me, a continual source of strength.
Last week, I boxed two batches of my very firmest cookies to send to a close family friend who has cancer. A bit of therapy for me, a bit of love and support for the family. They will need to be strong in the weeks ahead.
My blog began because I had trouble concentrating on writing about issues important to me. I had been writing regularly and bringing articles to a weekly writers' workshop for critique. After my mother's illnesses, my creative energies had stalled. My mind spun around friends and relatives far away. But I needed to keep busy and I wanted to keep writing, honing the craft.
A cookie blog seemed the perfect choice. Busy-making, focused on a positive change (to lose 10 pounds), it seemed a less demanding writing project. I could keep my mind off the rest of the world while I baked and blogged. But like the smell of forgotten cookies in the oven, the rest of the world seeps into my kitchen with me.
I think that's why I am grumpier than usual about cookies with inadequate instructions. I want to benefit by the experience of "experts" who compiled the book and tested each recipe. I don't know why I have to add more notes to theirs to get each recipe right. Similarly, it has taken trial and error to find the right care for my mother, understand the array of care systems, and the finances involved. Where are the well-tested "recipes" for choosing elder care? Where are the "notes" for how to finance it?
I find I prefer cookies with a firm texture rather than those with a fine crumbly dough. I have no patience with a cookie that falls apart as you bite in. The health of family and friends is fragile enough. I crave strength in my cookies and the symbols of strength in my life. Beyond firm cookies, I appreciate the love and support my husband gives me, a continual source of strength.
Last week, I boxed two batches of my very firmest cookies to send to a close family friend who has cancer. A bit of therapy for me, a bit of love and support for the family. They will need to be strong in the weeks ahead.
Karen - I can tell by your posting time this is keeping you awake! Thanks for sharing - I agree, firm cookies that hold up and don't crumble are a very good thing. Seems like you're performing the job of a firm cookie yourself - holding up under so many personal crises. I'm glad you're my friend.
ReplyDeleteNancy